t’s funny how time pasts in a split second when i look back in hindsight.
I came across my old tshirt. i feel so nostalgic. Like, i miss the little carefree girl who dreams about being a princess and wearing pretty pink dresses. But when she’s at home she immediately puts on a cartoon tshirt just because those dresses are so itchy and uncomfortable no matter how pretty they look.
it’s weird how… if i brought my 6 year old self next to my 16 year old self, we would be completely different identities… little me would never understand why i ever worry or get anxious about the future. She just wants to play with barbie dolls and wipe out the minature army of her brother’s green plastic soldiers.
she just wants to talk to her imaginary cartoon friends in the toilet while she’s pooping, or wonder why her hair will never be straight like it is in the shower.
i feel completely nostalgic.
like that part of me is somewhere stuck in time.
that part of me that just knows how to be.
that never has to feel the burden of expectations…
or the pressure of being perfect.
or worrying whether she will be successful or not.
she doesn’t even know how the world works. she doesn’t even know she doesn’t know that.
she is purely in presence, and having fun, and building fortresses with sofa pillows with her cousins.
the future doesn’t exist for her at all.
it’s just so funny how much we can’t relate to each other anymore.
& sometimes i wish i could be her again, over anyone i have ever wished to be.