Just April Thoughts

Random Rambles, thougts

I breathe in days that turn to weeks, that are now jotted and pasted in the memory of “before”.

What i breathed in and breathed through has now become a fuzzy piece of the earth’s history. Not recorded in books, just in the universe’s memory.

I would love to time-travel, at the same time, i would not. Escaping time is escaping the breaths that changes the landscape of your mind. Getting from here to there with no in between leaves you hanging with the contents of time spilling. Missed accomplishments, missed satisfaction.

But if you ever manage to do that, then the in between was never for you anyways.

I think time just doubled its speed.

It’s like im just watching a scene repeat with different variations, but this time, the differences are chiming in rapidly. Changing to the atmospheres of different days, landing me where i want to be and where i dont want to be. It’s like a monstrous rollercoaster ride that you have to ride over and over again, and each time you somehow get used to the rhythm and it isnt so scary, but still tedious.

Ticking off the last week of April gets me thinking. In fact, everything gets me thinking now. Something activates in my head and i go in a spiral of wonder that leads me nudging my head at time’s caccoon.

I would be a bird if i could. But im human so i walk with feet on the ground that never seem to escape me. If i were a bird, i think i would be too free to observe time and feel minute differences. Nothing would astonish me. It would be repetition, and repetition is frustratingly agonizing.

So right now, everything is just a matter of chancing upon a new perspective. A new angle and new experiences.

It’s really funny how perspective is, because last week, i went up on my roommate’s bed, and the room looked hugely different from that angle, than it does from my bed.

My “technique” really is looking forward until i find comfort.







7 billion people

Random Rambles

The earth is huge.

Image result for 7 billion people experienced today differently quoteWe dont see 7 billion people everyday; it’s just an idea in our minds that there are people scattered all over in one sphere floating in space.

All 7 billion a part of this day in day out regime.

Trying to conceptualize this fact is bizarre. I’m taking into consideration the variety of experiences taking place in this one second. everyone is living their lives with their own set of routines and priorities.

And here i am, living my life whilst at times oblivious to the outside world around me. Everyday is like a bubble i feel like popping so i could freely wonder away in places i have never seen and get used to different things.

7 billion people. And im one of them, just waiting for the next day and dreaming an exciting future ahead.

I somewhat like that. I like the wait because in it is where the anticipation is. In it is where the daydreaming takes place and i can control everything. The future is blank canvas.

Anything can happen, the ones you least expect.

7 billion people.

When i realise how many people there are going about their life in this moment, it makes me feel relief. It takes me out of my bubble and wonder about the grander scheme of things.

Life makes me excited sometimes, and that’s where the comfort lies – looking forward.





When intuition hurts


Intuition really hurts because it tells you the truth.
I catch my train of thoughts and challenge them, and there was once when i found myself evading an opinion because i didnt want it to be true. I realise i did that often, so i began to do the opposite. I started to open my mind to the possibility of something being true.

And i guess it turned me into a really anxious person, because now im taking every hunch seriously. All the things i usually dismissed with plaster affirmations now are staring at me wide eyed.

I could feel more. About people, places and whatever. And i catch patterns and i theorise them and i test them out. It’s all an experiment in my head, toying around with the law of cause and effect while my emotions are at stake.

now i look at someone and i dont shake off the first feeling i get. I more than just consider it a possibility. I accept it as cold hard truth and that makes me feel very insecure about myself.

I dont love to overthink, it just so happens to be a part of my cognitive nature. I dont even try to snap out of it anymore. It clings onto me and now its like skin.
It’s a scary metaphor when something becomes your skin. You cant peel it off. Period.

But overtime skin sheds.

It’s amazing how your thoughts take charge of emotions. All you need is an epiphany before you can see beyond the boundaries of fear. Paradigm shifts.

Until next time



the earth spins


The earth spins.

Beyond it, rocks and nebulas of different colours float in black space. From billions of years away, you could spot them as specks of streaming light.

I want to pierce the black blanket in wonder of what exists beyond seemingly infinite darkness.

You can find me, some where within superclusters of clusters. Look for the sphere with faint white swirls and patches of different colours on dark blue. .

If and when you do find it, plunge through the layers of clouds and you will sort through again, variety. This is a place where people live. Different bodies and different minds all in the same air.


I am a perspective, tossed in between routines and drowned within thoughts. To you, i may be just another one navigating through with what i have and you are right