Random Rambles

I continue to see how the evolution of filmmaking has been advancing ever since the beginning of a very revolutionary design; Youtube.

Filmmaking, and the wonders of an editing software. Or rather, the wonders of an idea, the wonders of inspiration. And oh, the wonders of worthiness, of confidence.

YouTube, a platform for everyone, for whatever idea…  Different people and topics fitting in, accumulating into a huge mosaic. And I lay there wondering which part of it I would fit into.

Watching a community grow from the sidelines for so long, I have recently just wondered what it’s like to have a teeny weeny part of the web filled with my videos. So, I curiously dipped my feet into it for a little while, only to pull it back out in fear.  It’s so… intimidating.

I have seen many different ratios of likes and dislikes on other videos, beautiful comments, and the ugly ones. The internet troll is what I fear…They lurk everywhere, even within our very souls.

Overanalyzing until the mind paralyses, effortlessly submitting to the dark thoughts of unworthiness. And to prove my paranoia? It’s just three videos… Just three…

If only I could appreciate me more. If only I could jump again and again into the depths of risk-taking, without fear and without regrets.

But the mind… Oh the mind. God bless the pink organ of thoughts that gets so loud. Too loud for my liking sometimes all the time. Brain, just shut up will you? But alas, the brain is just the brain. It jumps of from one thought, to another one. And then the momentum builds and before you know it, this post went from the topic of filmmaking, all the way to how much fear there is in my mind.

Take a moment to appreciate the mind’s ability to be so detailed in thought, and how far its buff hands of fear could stretch a topic, making you overthink EVERYTHING.

Appreciation has never felt so bad.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s